Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Who is Harold Lloyd?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

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I understand how hurricane paths work

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Elizabeth Hurley Strips Naked for 60th Birthday, Gushes Over Being in Love - TMZ

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

How do schizophrenia symptoms change throughout the day?

I can read

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

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I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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I can count

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I see through liars

What should I do if I love a girl and she apparently doesn't love me?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I actually pay taxes

Does believing in God and Satan cause schizophrenia?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Law & Order: Organized Crime Recap: After a Death in the Family, Will Stabler Turn to the Dark Side? - TVLine

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for fakery

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I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

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I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Yvette Cooper yet to agree deal three days before spending review - BBC

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

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I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Skin Aging Reduced by Molecules from Bacteria in the Blood - Neuroscience News

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for traitorism

What is so great about Jiraiya?

I don’t buy bullshit

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says: